Though I don’t always agree with the general consensus on Rotten Tomatoes for every movie, their ratings for super hero movies have been pretty on par with my feelings about them: I enjoyed Deadpool, I really enjoyed Civil War, I thought Apocalypse was meh, and I thought Batman v Superman was an abomination.
So when all the negative reviews started coming in for Suicide Squad, I was just praying that this time, I would disagree with them.
I did not disagree with them. Suicide Squad is a sloppy movie with a rushed, incoherent plot and a lame, lazy script.
One of the things that the Warner Brothers / DC duo doesn’t seem to get is that when you’re trying to universe-build in a meaningful way, but you’re trying to do it at a fraction of the time Disney / Marvel has spent universe-building, there is absolutely no room for wasting time. This should be true of movies in general, but considering all of these DC movies screw around with their time so freaking much, I felt that it was worth mentioning.
Suicide Squad wastes at least the first ten minutes of the movie on stupid prison scenes involving DeadShot and Harley Quinn, and when they do finally start to give each of their nine individual characters introductions, they rush through it at such a high velocity that you do not get a chance to absorb any information at all (which is not that big of a deal once you consider that most of the information is pointless and/or uninteresting anyway).
Will Smith as Deadshot, one of four characters the movie develops for more than five minutes, was a flat character. The only development that he has aside from “Is a bad guy trying to be a good guy” and “is good at shooting” is all done from awkward and expository dialogue. The girl that they picked to play Deadshot’s daughter was distractingly bad at acting.
Diablo, the guy with the tattoos, gets a bit more fleshed out in regards to motives and personality, but again his character development is also lazily explained to us through him telling everyone else a story for no other reason than that it was time for him to tell his story.
But out of all the characters who get sabotaged because of bad dialogue, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn gets the worst treatment. There were multiple occasions where I angrily rolled my eyes at some of the awful, cliche drivel that came out of Quinn’s mouth.
The rest of the cast are a bunch of blank slates with merely a few defining characteristics.
I do not understand why the trailers for this movie focused so much on The Joker because he was hardly ever in the movie. When he was in the movie, he felt more like a rubbish cartoon than the actual cartoon Jokers from any of the numerous animated series. Perhaps I’m spoiled a bit because of Heath Ledger’s Joker, but considering the trailer pretended that The Joker was going to be a big deal in the movie, I feel like it’s a valid criticism to say that Jared Leto will probably be one of my least favorite Jokers in the history of DC comics. There was simply nothing in the movie that compelled me to latch onto his character. (Also, I was hoping that they would give a valid explanation as to why the Joker has all of these retarded tattoos, but alas, the movie doesn’t give you one, so here’s one that I think is acceptable.)
The soundtrack… holy crap the soundtrack. I have never seen such great music go to such waste. Though I enjoyed most of the songs that the movie has in it (and I have quite a few of them on my playlists), they all felt so out of place and sporadic. Just because a movie picks good songs does not make the soundtrack good.
A while back, I mentioned in my review of Nerve that the soundtrack for the movie was awful, but they picked music that went well with the overall tone of the movie so I did not feel compelled to penalize it.
With Suicide Squad, the exact opposite happens: I found the music pleasant to listen to, but the vast majority of it did not feel like it belonged in this movie. I felt that often the songs were used to compensate for a crap script and a crap plot because they often drowned out what the characters were saying.
And speaking of the plot, good Lord… what a giant mess this plot was. It was all rushed and sloppy and incoherent. No time is spent actually developing things in a way that is interesting and makes sense. It’s like the movie just assumed we would accept whatever was thrown at us as long as we see Will Smith killing things while Margot Robbie prances around in shiny underwear (all the while The White Stripes and The Rolling Stones are drowning everything out).
There’s so many other things that I can go into about how stupid this movie is, but I don’t want to spoil it because I know many of you will go see this movie anyway despite my warnings. I’m sure you all get the point anyway.
Aside from some entertaining action scenes and a few chuckles, this movie is an absolute train wreck. Very little time is spent developing any of these characters and relationships, and they are all thrown around in a movie that makes very little sense whatsoever. The more I think about this movie, the angrier I get. I guess BvS certainly softened the blow for this movie, because I hated BvS so much, but the more I think about Suicide Squad, the more I realize that there is nothing that it does better than BvS.
To those who are trying to get Rotten Tomatoes shut down or something because they panned this movie: you are all idiots. Suicide Squad was terrible.
2 out of 10