Review: Snatched

There’s this really odd thing that a lot of films are starting to do in theaters: some of the main actors start by personally thanking everyone in the theatre for seeing their movie, and then they gush about how hard it was to make it, and how delighted they are that you get to experience it in the theatre.
Every single film that decided to do this ends up being bad. X-Men: Apocalypse did it, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter did it, and now Snatched did it as well.


This movie is quite the unbearable work of fart.


Amy Schumer‘s character is wholeheartedly obnoxious and unbearable. They establish her unlikability in the very first scene, and they only expand on it throughout the entire film.


schumer_vidpic_121616_1280Copy_ren640.jpgNow when you make a comedy, and your leading character is a self-absorbed, insufferable asshole, what you don’t do is try to get the audience to sympathize with this character at every given opportunity. But Snatched does exactly that. The tone and the soundtrack (holy crap, this soundtrack was horrendous) constantly implied that I was supposed to be rooting for this woman, and I found no reason to do so. In my opinion, the best scenes in the movie are when Schumer’s character gets what’s coming to her.

The only character that you do end up sympathizing with is Goldie Hawn, but the film tries pretty desperately to paint her as an unhip, desperate-for-attention cat lady, that it made me wonder why the movie tried so hard to make her seem so uncool, and then prove her right with every single piss-poor decision that Schumer makes.


It was as if this movie was just made for Amy Schumer fans… and considering I usually think of the girl as in a two-way tie with Samantha Bee for most unfunny, cancerous comedic female in existence, maybe I shouldn’t have watched this film.




If you are a fan of Amy Schumer’s brand of comedy, boy oh boy are you in luck. Much of the humor in Snatched is just Schumer talking about her vagina, jokes involving Schumer and farting, pooping, tapeworms, and male ejaculate.


Much of the other comedy is lazily executed in some of the most obvious ways possible with some of the most one-demensional characters in existence. There’s even a few jokes where they spend literally sixty seconds explaining what they were joking about.

Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn are trying to find help because they recently escaped their kidnappers, and they go to this bar, and they talk to the bartender about how they’re afraid of being taken by sex traffickers. And the bartender says “Oh, sex traffickers only look for young, attractive women. You’ll be fine.”

…and Amy Schumer then spends a large chunk of time berating the bartender about how he shouldn’t talk to her mother like that, and then spends a bunch of time chirping about how she herself is young and attractive.

… and then the bartender spells it out for Schumer, and therefore the audience, that he was also talking about her because she has a chubby face.


Hoo boy, was it ever the comedic treat to experience.


Every single other character that wasn’t Amy Schumer or Goldie Hawn basically boils down to one of three personality traits: stupid, obnoxious, and/or insane. This basically meant that the movie made no room for actual intelligent or well-thoughtout comedy. It’s the type of comedy that really only appeals to people who don’t mind having the same jokes spelled out for them over and over again.


Every single man in this movie was either a moron and/or a misogynist, except for maybe the black government worker guy. It was an Amy Schumer movie, so I expected nothing less.


The general plot was fairly typical for comedies and movies in general, which was all the worse due to the fact that I basically hated everybody I was watching.



There were only two moments in the film where I chuckled. There were six other people in the theatre, half men and half women, all of which laughed anywhere between zero to three times in the film’s entirety. This movie deserves every ounce of hate that it’s getting.


I can’t see any reason to watch Snatched unless you’re already an Amy Schumer acolyte. And if that’s the case, then there’s no hope for you anyway.

3 out of 10